Welcome to the first annual T Dog Blog Turkey Awards. We’re here to reward stupidity and simpletonism in the fields of broadcasting and in media in 2006 (so far.) Judging by the long list of winners (or shall we say “losers”? ), 2006 was a busy year for being stupid, ignorant, lame, boring, moronic, etc… You get the point.
So, fire up the grill. Grab a beer. Pull up a chair. Invite that relative over that your significant other can’t stand. Because it’s time to hand out some turkeys.
And this year’s awards go to:
-Michael Richards. What the hell was he thinking? He should have been hit with a Vonage box for what he said onstage at The Laugh Factory in L.A. last Friday Night.
-Jack-FM (WJMK-FM) for letting Jim Belushi take over the station for the day to whore the syndicated rerun premiere of his useless comedy According To Jim on September 18. Useless “comedian” hawking his useless “show” on a useless “radio station“. Sounds good to me!
-Fox, for coming up with that great idea for an O.J. Special, If He Did It.
-Bill O’Reilly. It seems every time he opens his big fat mouth, someone should put a fist in it.
-The Cubs. Just because.
-The creation of the CW and MyNetworkTV, providing us with hours of quality TV, especially The Game, Desire, and Fashion House. Better off if all those stations went back being independent.
-Whomever wrote the first and the last episodes of the fall cycle of this season’s South Park. (Trey Parker, I’m looking at you.)
-Shaggy & Scooby-Doo Get A Clue. Yikes. Whoever thought of this series should get a clue. At least they didn’t bring back Scrappy.
Dennis Byrne’s column. Dewey from Malcolm in the Middle could write better crap than this.
-Survivor’s racial split. Lasting all of two weeks. Like the interest in this show for this season.
-The Blackhawks. Just because.
-Radio-Info.com, for the overall crapiness of their site and for the headline that appeared on the front page of their website, posted by some moron: “Opie and Anthony Out!!! CKG Done!” Yeah. And Dewey defeated Truman too.
-NBC, for their plan to cut jobs and save $750 million and to eliminate scripted shows at 7pm (CT) in a initiative called “NBC 2.0”. Is the 2.0 NBC’s executives IQ?
-Those sleazy political ads that ran in October. Thanks for making TV even more unwatchable.
-The FCC. A one-time respectable non-partisan agency is now nothing more than a right-wing government junket, trying to give mega-corporations the right to buy as many TV and radio stations they want, and claming to protect children from swear words from television. Too bad they are not as interested in protecting children from, oh I don’t know… random gunfire in places like Englewood? The type that took the lives of two innocent girls earlier this year? This is one of the reasons the Democrats swept the elections and took over Congress.
-Whoever thought it was a good idea to add Erica to the Eddie & Jobo show on B 96 (WBBM-FM.) The move lowered the show’s IQ by 60 points. (as if it wasn’t low enough already.)
-MSNBC, for reporting Tom Cruise’s weeding as “Breaking News”.
-Vanished, Kidnapped, Smith, DayBreak, Standoff, and all the similarly named one-word new serialized dramas (except Heroes) that sound alike, talk alike. Another thing they have in common -- nobody’s watching.
-Eddie & Jobo (again) for feeling sorry for Kevin Federline after Britney dumped him and promoting his “concert” at the House Of Blues. Those moves lowered the show’s IQ 20 more points.
-WLIT. Are they an AC station? A disco station? A CHR? Next thing you know, they’ll be playing Snoop Dogg. (By the way, is AC still alive as a format?)
-Delilah‘s nightly radio show. Enough said.
-Lost. After stringing viewers along for too long, “Lost” should get lost.
-Show Me the Money, a new game show hosted by talent repellent William Shanter featuring dancing girls and idiot contestants who talk too much instead of answering the obviously too-easy questions. Please, someone show this crap the door.
-The War At Home. Just because.
-Flashback Weekends on ANY radio station. Nine FM and WLIT need to get fresh ideas.
-And finally, to Wall Street. Thanks for making the companies who own radio and television stations across the country so bland and cookie-cutter, driving the audience to the Internet, satellite radio, DVDs, and other alternative forms of entertainment. And what is the reward? Layoffs, cost-cutting, and the possibility of Chicago losing its only major media company. Thanks a lot.
Happy Thanksgiving!
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