The inmates are running the asylum

It's not everyday two of the biggest pains in the butts in media make news on the same day, but today must be the day: Bill O'Reilly makes news for annoying people, while Jay Mariotti annoys his co-workers (notably Rick Telander) at the Sun-Times. Oh, I feel a sitcom coming on...

*****

Coming this fall...

The O' Reilly & Mariotti Show!

Two of the biggest douches in the world share an apartment in the city. Can they survive annoying people without annoying each other? Starting Bill O' Reilly and Jay Mariotti, comedy is guaranteed when they are yelled at, chased, and beaten!

Bill: I want you to clean up this mess, Jay! Right now! Do it live!

Jay: No, I won't. I'll hire the Blizzard of Oz to do it. He has just a big mouth as you....

Bill: You're right. I'm sorry. Loud mouth foreigners - that's all they're good for, right?

Jay: Right. (In a mocking Latino voice) Clean your floor, sir?

(They both laugh. The doorbell rings. Bill opens the door - and look! It's Special Guest Stars Rick Telander and Eric Deggans with baseball bats!)

Bill: Um, may I help you?

Rick: This is the place, Eric! This is where those two dumbasses live!

Eric: Let's get them!

Bill: Uhh... It's for you, Jay.

Jay: AHHHHHH!!! OMG! OMG! Let's get the hell out of there!

Bill: I'm with you!

(Bill and Jay run around their apartment screaming like little girls, being chased by Rick and Eric with baseball bats.)

See how funny that was? It's the best comedy of the new season! It's a show for losers featuring two losers. A guaranteed hit! You'll be rolling on the floor laughing!

Don't miss The O'Reilly & Mariotti Show! Coming Friday nights this fall... on The CW.

*****

And guess what... the show will never be canceled, no matter how low those ratings get. This explains why According to Jim has been on the air so long...